Monday, November 06, 2006

How Not To Apologize, Part II

I've written about lame political non-apologies before. But let's review what not to do:

  1. Say something insulting (on purpose, misunderstood, or Freudian slipped - it doesn't matter) about the intelligence of active duty military personnel a week before a tight election.
  2. Go on TV in liberal Seattle, waggle a rhetorical finger, and announce that you "apologize to no one."
  3. Take a brow beating from your betters within the party who can recognize your stupidity better than you. Wait until any offered apology looks like what it is - insincere political pander.
  4. Post on your website (as opposed to making any kind of speech or public appearance) that you're sincerely sorry if people were too stupid to understand the obvious meaning of your comments, which goes double for all the troops, vets, and their families that you support, and who you would never criticize, even if they ARE too stupid to understand said comments. (It helps if you've had a long history of lying about the alleged atrocities of our servicemen and women.)
  5. Post an editorial on your website saying that while you simply botched a joke about Bush, as anyone who's not stupid clearly understands, even if you had said that people too stupid to get an education would suffer the pitfall of military service, you would have been right - all those service people you would never malign really are stuck in Iraq because they couldn't navigate the education system and didn't do their homework. (Make sure you spend some extra effort making fancy graphics so people know it wasn't just a randomly linked article, but something you stand behind for support.)
  6. Rinse, lather, repeat. See the other party surge in the polls because you single handedly reminded their base why they voted for the other guys last time.
  7. Blame it on Karl Rove when Republicans easily retain the Senate in a year they should lose it badly, and even if they lose the House, lose it by a much slimmer margin than history says they should lose it by.
How has this guy survived in politics this long? Even in Massachusetts?

Most people already know this, but here's the demographic breakdown of entering military recruits, showing just how much better/smarter-than-average the average recruit really is. What a shocker - John Kerry and the Seattle P-I have their facts wrong...

That Kerry is criminally stupid is no surprise. That anyone in his party come to his defense is. Such excuse making does not speak well of his defenders, or their true feelings about who it is standing on the front lines of the fight against fascism.

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